In a world of so many great photographers and writers, I am venturing into some unknown territories, leaving comfort zones, finally very willing to practice the art of seeing. By maintaining the practice of posting daily photos, I hope to continue learning about the possibilities that I trust are out there for the taking.
I started this blog September 23, 2007. Today the stat counter reads 10,000 hits. I must say I am surprised and delighted that you would find what I choose to blog interesting enough to come back and follow along on a consistent basis. Thank you. I’m sure many of you have no idea about the fear I’ve always had of others reading my writing.
The first time I ever had the courage to allow my writing to be viewed online was when I hiked the PCT in 2002. I hand wrote daily trail journal notes every night. In towns I mailed off the notes to my sponsor Debbie, who typed up and posted them to a website I started just for the hike. I was terrified everyone would find out I was a terrible writer. My motive for writing and posting these online trail journals was twofold: First, to keep all my friends and family apprised of my whereabouts and happenings. Second, to help future hikers like previous online backpacker’s journals had helped me. I was ok after a while knowing others were reading my journal entries because this writing was for a purpose while hiking.
I first started keeping another online blog, not this one, (just for fun – i.e. – for no purpose) It was December 11, 2004 when I started this secret online blog. No one knew about it. The blog was for my eyes only. I still had way too much fear of what others might think to allow anyone to read my thoughts on the page.
Then on September 23, 2007 I started this current blog you are reading.
Recently went online and took a peak at that old private online journal, the journal I kept before this current blog. I found the last entry I wrote on that site before I changed over to this public blog journal.
Here is a portion of the last entry I wrote at 10:32pm, June 20th, 2007:
I‘m almost 20 years in my program. The 2nd step suggests I come to believe in a Power greater than myself.
This next year I have high hopes I will experience physic changes as the result of possibly seeing some pretty ugly embarrassing things about myself. I’m hoping I’m on my way to finding and relying on a Power greater than myself. Then, I do want to try and live according to how this Power wants me to live.
I’m tired. Tired of trying harder. I want to learn to relax, learn to enjoy my life, not try harder to be better, do more-All so you will think I have value.
I’m done trying to make you see me a certain way so I will feel accepted or feel I have worth…….. So I’ll feel ok with myself and you. This over dependence on what you think of me is exhausting and it’s none of my business. I have to keep raising the bar in what I do to impress you.
Here’s my pledge: from now on – what I think of me is all I’ll care about……. From today on and forever.
Fun. That’s my ideal for living. To learn to have fun and relax. What do I want, what do I think, how do I feel?
Do I like and enjoy my choices in a day? Am I doing something because I believe I’m expected to do it? Am I doing it because I want to, for me, or for you? If for you, is it a good motive, is it to be helpful and to give…or is it a bad motive….to get…..to influence….to impress so you’ll like me and want to be around me…
I’m so done thinking about how I come off to you on a daily basis so I’ll feel ok. Done.
Really done.
Well, something has happened since this writing in the private journal entry in 2007. I do feel freer. Less self conscious. Believe I deserve. Know what’s good about me. Worry more about what I think. And………I believe a lot of this change I feel in myself is the result of doing what I’m afraid to do, like writing in this daily blog.
One day at a time, I’ve written. I‘ve posted my photography work. I have no secrets. You see it all on the page. I’m not hiding anymore and the sky hasn’t fallen. Actually, I’ve never had more self esteem and less fear. Who’d have thought change would come as the result of doing the things I fear.
Thank you readers. Thank you so much for your kind words, continued support, compliments and fun comments.
Much love and gratitude,
Linda
p.s. During my morning walk, wearing 2 layers of fleece and full rain gear in this atypical strong rain we are having, I took the photo above. Look at the view of our condo from the other side of the lake in the photo. What a great place we live in.
Yesterday, after a lot of rain the day before, I woke to this vision.
And here is the full monty view from our home. The faces of San Jacinto. I think there has to be a book to be made some day of all the moods this incredible mountain projects. Or, better yet, all the moods this mountain creates in me.
I’ve started eating better recently. I sit down at the dining room table to eat. I don’t read. I don’t talk on the phone (much). I pay attention to the food as I’m eating.
Because I wasn’t doing lots of other things while eating lunch I noticed out of the corner of my eye when the hawk landed on top of the umbrella. I couldn’t believe it. A hawk right outside my window.
I have a dream of someday living in the wilderness (like some people I know) where the animals roam freely. I see myself sitting outside on the porch, with my camera and tripod set up, ready and excited to photograph the wildlife as they meander by.
Life is good.
An hour ago, I was drawn outside with my camera and tripod by the vision of billowing, backlit, cumulus clouds over the San Jacinto Mountain range. A phone call distracted me from taking more than 3 photos.
Moments ago I went online to see what exhibitions were at the J. Paul Getty Museum, hoping Sandi and I could catch the end of a photography showing while in LA Tuesday. Online checking out the exhibitions now at the Getty site I found a photo from the Landscape photo exhibition named “Songs of the Sky”. (shown here)
Alfred Stieglitz was a great promoter of Modernism in America and an advocate of photography as art. He began pointing his camera skyward in 1922. His images of evanescent clouds were meant to express his own fleeting emotional states and reflect the dynamism of a world in constant flux. Originally Stieglitz titled these cloudscapes “Songs of the Sky,” but he later came to call them “equivalents of my most profound life experience.” The works focus on abstract qualities of proportion, rhythm, and harmony, presenting pure form as music for the eye.
Now lookie here at two of the photos I snapped off around 5pm tonight.
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And here you have my “pure form as music for the eye”.
p.s.
syn·chro·nic·i·ty Listen to the pronunciation of synchronicity
Pronunciation:
\?si?-kr?-?ni-s?-t?, ?sin-\
Function:
noun
The coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung
The birds and squirrels have us well trained. They made a commotion outside our bedroom window early this windy morning awakening us and demanding “their” morning birdseed!
Click arrow below to start movie.
Here are some more photos of our new friends. We are obsessed with feeding and watching the birds and squirrels fight for their position at the birdseed trays. Saturday we moved into this cabin #18. Today is Monday and we have already bought another bag of birdseed.
(click on the photos below to enlarge them)
First the squirrels:
I call this squirrel – Fatso, Ray calls the foodmonger and bully of everyone – Jowels.
Our living room and view of the mountains and our local birds and squirrels.
Ray and I walked 16 holes of the closed Palmer Golf Course around 11am today in about an hour and 15 minutes. We intended to walk the entire 18 holes but we were too close to our house at the 16th hole to continue walking the remaining two holes in the 108 degree day.
Ray spotted this bird in the lake by the 4th hole. I was surprised the photo turned out as clear as it did as I was using my little digital Sony 640 at full hand held zoom. I can’t get close or they fly away.
Earlier in the day I could tell Baby was practicing and getting close to flying off.
Today is the first day she really practiced flapping her wings.
Mama is in Baby’s nest looking up at Baby on the condo stucco wall.
Mama was freaking out. Mama repeatedly tried to get Baby off the wall. Mama got on Baby’s back and pecked Baby and then tried prying Baby off the wall with her feet.
Mama also feed Baby while Baby was on the wall. Baby must have been exhausted.
Ray spotted Baby as Baby left her nest. He said,”Baby is on the condo wall.” I went for my camera. I spent the next 1.5 hours taking photos. I shot some movie too. Tired and off the bed now. But I someday hope to put together a photo essay of Baby and Mama.
Baby flew up on the roof of the Condo and Mama followed her. 37 days from egg to flight.
Bye bye Babette. (See Emily, I still call Baby Babette even though Ray didn’t want me too.)
Baby is out growing her nest. Mom has built up one side of the nest recently.
Baby has a pattern I’ve discovered. I’ve watched her so much that I know when Mama is coming to feed her. I go out and stand very, very quietly 3 feet away and shoot photos as Mama is landing. 
Ray gets mad at me for going outside so much. He thinks I’m going to scare Baby into flying off before Baby is ready to fly. I think Baby is going to fly within the next few days. Baby flapped her wings today to keep herself from losing her balance now that she courageously stands perched on the top side of the nest.
Mama comes to the rescue now that Baby is so cocky. Mama is very strict and I get a kick out of catching her beat Baby down in her nest anyway she can.
Mama comes at the same time everyday to shade Baby from the hot sun. Then I get to photograph Mama’s beautifully colored back feathers. Baby has some green in her back now too.
And there are fewer and fewer times when Baby sits still with Mama. Ray and I are going to be very sad to see our Baby fly away.
Any bets on which date she’ll take flight?
If Baby doesn’t fly away soon, I’ll never get ready for this trip.
Baby is habituated to me. I am an ever present presence. I talk to Baby. Baby knows my voice, my camera lens in its face and Baby feels safe but somewhat confused by me.
Baby has feathers which means it isn’t going to be long now, maybe a week, before Baby takes flight.
I can’t imagine how two babies could fit in this small nest. 
I must have clicked off 100 photos today. Everytime I passed the glass window, Baby or Mama were doing something so cool it had to be photographed. I spent many hours today distracted and very interested by new behaviors.
Mama lands midday to shade Baby from the hot sun that shines directly on Baby around 1pm. Mama spreads her tail feathers and wings very wide to shield Baby from the direct heat of the sun.
I will eventually upload a lot more of the photos I’ve taken to Flickr.com but I haven’t the time now. I’ll post when I’ve uploaded photos to Flickr. I hope to do a photo essay of Baby from beginning to end too. But not until I return from my trip.
Ths sun had been up for 20 minutes this morning when I spotted these two bugs at it while on a bump & grind hike with Katie.
Off to LA in a couple of hours. Can’t wait to see many of you tonight!