Too late to blog.

Up at 3:45am tomorrow morning to hike with Connie and Mary Kay.

Good night.

p.s. Katie was “4″ yesterday!

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I asked Susan if I could post her email I just read. I am not of service to get, I give to give, but when I get something like this I am so moved.

You made my day Susan. I love you.

p.s. Now get back to writing:-)

From: susan alvarez [mailto:suzeque321@bresnan.net]

Sent: Tuesday, August 04, 2009 12:11 AM

To: Linda Jeffers

Subject: One a day!

Hi Linda! I am so envious of my sis’ who get to be with you. I miss you lots

and in case I haven’t said it often enough…I love you! You give and have

given me so much more than I could have ever wished or dreamed of…you help

me keep my self from running naked down the street (with my hair on fire and

out of the “bin”). Everyday I watch and learn something new. You are my

treasure! I was born an only child so every once in a while I don’t want to

share you. Today’s topis at my meeting was selfish and self-centered. I

picked the topic. But I fell out of myself pretty quickly today. So here’s

your poem for the day.

Treasures

I am so glad to feel a part of your part

Don’t know where that is, but it’s a good place to start

Talking to you is like melting my soul

I can see all the lines and all of the holes

You fill up my heart and God takes me away

He then brings me back and I get to play

I’m happy and free and dressed up to dance

I willing to be and just take the chance

I’m brave and I’m strong and I know the way

I see little bread crumbs left every day

God leads me to water and I take a big drink

My mind wanders onward without me I think

I don’t pay attention to thoughts in my head

they tell me I’m worthless and I should be dead

I silence the demons and put them in place

They’re snarling and angry with shit on their face

It’s all an illusion a disease of the self

You’ve brought me the courage to climb down from the shelf

I wish to pay forward and give it away

My soul seeks the answers each moment each day

I have thoughts to offer of God and His plan plan

My mind wanders onward when I take a stand

I do love this journey where ever it leads

Love is the answer it fills all my needs

It takes but a moment to walk out of the self

It’s here in the moment that I wish to dwell

Where I am just happy to be so alive

There is a solution and how I do thrive

So I need to thank you for just being you

You’re calming and brilliant and I like the view

So here’s to the heartbeat that my soul does claim

One thing’s for sure, I am not the same!

Love,love, joy,joy. happy, happy, Linda, Linda, bye,bye. Talk manana!

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Quincy and Karen
Karen, Sandi, Quincy and Linda
Quincy and Linda

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Quincy and Linda

Quincy was the Saturday, 9am speaker. She gave a fantastic planned program of recovery talk; she carries a great message of hope.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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Connie and Paula are getting ready for bed. We leave for the San Fernando Valley tomorrow at 5:30am. My sponse, Debbie, is speaking at an all day Three Legacy Workshop.

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Ralph, Ray, Johnnie, Jay, and John.

Ralph has been asking me for the photo I took of him at the SFVAA Convention last January. Since then I’ve had two computer crashes and all my photos are no longer organized.

Today and tonight, while alone, I spent time searching, organizing and trying to make sense of the photo mess I have.

Enjoy Ralph. Sorry, the photo didn’t turn out better. I must have been previously shooting in a very low light situation as I obviously forgot to change the ISO back down lower.

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I’m just back from a wonderful weekend at Woman To Woman in Brentwood. There were about 25 or more of our family lineage of friends who attended this workshop weekend. We laughed. We were silly. We shared. We ate. I hiked with Tina Saturday morning and Gina Sunday morning. I must say I think this was my favorite year of all the 17 or so years I’ve been attending the all women weekend workshop. Why was it the best year? Probably because I was in the now, I was ok with me, I was ok with everyone else, I didn’t feel the need to do anything but what I wanted to do. In essence, I was not in care taking mode. I was there for myself. I even took a nap…..wait….no, the nap took me. I passed out once my head hit the pillow around 2pm…..until Sandi came in my room to enter her room through our shared bathroom because she had locked her room door.

I enjoyed all the women I know and love who attended this year. I watched them all, young and older (20′s to 70′s!), have a good time with each other. Age wasn’t a factor in who spent time with whom. I was a happy mom. A proud mom. Not to brag, but I have the best family of friends and on down the family lineage ever. Sorry if this reference to family and family lineage doesn’t make sense to some of you reading my blog. I am trying to not reveal too much about how we all know each other. Anonymity you know.

So I bought a new Canon Lens. I took the photos below with this lens. I am not familiar with how to use the lens and not real clear what it does. I’m just shooting away trying to become familiar with it. I wish Carol Leigh lived closer. I do much better when someone is explaining things to me or I watch what they are doing.

Anyway, whether the photos are good or not, aren’t these ladies the most BEAUTIFUL ladies ever! Antonia wins the contest of easiest to photograph. She loves the camera and is completely comfortable having her photo taken. In the future, when I hopefully someday study studio lighting, I’d love to practice shooting her. I like photographing people.

Milly
Angie, Quincy, Sarah
Paula, Katya, Alima, Tina, Linda
Katya, Paula
Jaime, Katya, Antonia, Gina, Paula
Jaime, Antonia, Gina
Antonia, Gina
Debbie
Karen
Annette, Milly
p.s. I’m off again tomorrow morning with Ray. We’re going to Pebble Beach. Next Thursday we return home after having attended our Thursday night meeting – JTBP.

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Susan’s life mate, Rick, died of a masssive coronary heart attack a couple of weeks ago. Rick was Susan’s love, her rock, her everything. Susan is lost.

Susan is a beautiful writer who doesn’t usually write much, until now. The poem you’ll read below, written by Susan in about 5 minutes the other day, is a sample of the gift of writing she has been given.

Photo taken: August 17, 2006

HOLD ME
by Susan Alvarez
(copyright 2009)

I wonder where the memories go
If they fade away
Deep within a subconscious tomb
Never to see the light of day?

Your face is growing hazy
My tears not brushed aside
I might be going crazy
Some part of me has died

I’ve never known this feeling
that burns inside my soul
I’ll never be the same
I wonder if I’m whole

I wake to find the morning
has come and leaves me here
In sorrow and in panic
It’s all so very clear

I try to plant my feet
so deep into Your ground
I know You have the answers
You know this pain I’ve found

God send me mighty angels
So I can rest my head
My heart so badly broken
Perhaps it’s me who’s dead

I know I must walk through this
and find the light again
I know your love is mighty
My God, my love, my friend

So keep me close beside you
and walk me through these doors
my empty heart is bleeding
and lying on the floor

I have no arms to hold it
or legs to walk myself
I’d rather be an object
and sit upon a shelf

But alas your love awaits me
and I will reach my soul
I’ll follow every bread crumb
you leave to make me whole

God thank you for your patience
for loving me in spite
of all the wayward journeys
I’ve followed in my life

Please wrap your arms around me
and keep me off that shelf
my world’s still full of wonder
about you if nothing else

?

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