In a world of so many great photographers and writers, I am venturing into some unknown territories, leaving comfort zones, finally very willing to practice the art of seeing. By maintaining the practice of posting daily photos, I hope to continue learning about the possibilities that I trust are out there for the taking.
I was doing morning pages earlier. From this early morning brain drain writing came today’s blog entry. When I wrote that my birthday, December 24th, was only 4 days away, I started feeling those old sad feelings I’ve always had around my birthday. It came to me that I might want to examine on paper some of my age old beliefs from when I was young. I really want to see if my beliefs then are what they are today. So I did a belief system inventory. Here is what this belief system inventory turned up:
My beliefs about my birthday are:
• people won’t make a big deal no one will remember I won’t get what I want
• It will be trouble for others
• They won’t know how to make a party for me
• I’ll be disappointed
• I’ll feel alone
• Unimportant
• No one will notice it’s my birthday
• No one will care it’s my birthday
• It is MY day
• They won’t make my day a big deal
• They are too busy
• “let’s combine “it” with Xmas”
• Who cares
• I don’t really want anything
• what I really want is too expensive
• they won’t find what I want
• It’ll be too hard for them to find “it”
• they’ll get the wrong thing
I felt bad seeing all these beliefs. I see how needy and insecure I was.
How do I feel about my birthday these days? It’s just another day. Now every day is a big deal. I think my birthday, Xmas holidays etc, all of these times just make me sad because I remember my parents and miss them terribly.
A number of years ago I realized every November I started to get depressed. Come January that depression left. Once I realized this pattern I made the decision that I was no longer going to participate in the holidays like I used to. I treat the holidays just like any other day. Every day is a holiday. Every day is a birthday. No big deals anymore. Just one big deal. I’m alive and I’m very happy.
Happy Day!
Katie canceled and Stuart (18 years old and adorable) showed up for this Wednesday morning hike. Monday and Wednesdays I hike bump & grind with Katie at 5am. Last Monday we had two other people join us: Jessica – Katie’s friend and Stuart – a grandbaby of Ray’s.
Stuart stayed with me, walking backwards at times and putting back on his extra layer of clothing he taken off as he wasn’t working hard enough I guess hiking my pace to stay warm. We had a great time on the downhill, much like on Monday’s hike, we talked non stop. Who would have thought an almost (in 5 days!) 63 year old woman and an 18 year young man could have so much to talk about. 
Then on my drive home from the hike, maybe around 6:50am, while talking on the phone with Cindy, I snapped off this photo.
Here is my daily agenda for yesterday and today. I email an agenda out to about 6 or 7 other ladies. They in turn email me their daily agendas. A good way to stay accountable and on track. Here is an example of what I sent out this morning:
Good morning ladies!
I’ve hiked, showered and am ready for the day. Bring it on. 7:30am.
Here is my recap of yesterday followed by my schedule for today.
Love,
Linda
TuesdayDec 18, 2007
7:30amStep phone call
10:30amannual physical appt.
12:30pmmake toes and nails appt for
1pmThings I want to accomplish make flight for Milly and me to Deb’s birthday
2pmReview Ray’s 30th birthday letters and photos to see if I have everyone’s
3pmcall and make appt to have leaking in condo dealth with – condo dealth with
4pmwrite responses to flagged emails from friends
9pmblog a photo or something
Tuesday kind of had a life of its own.
Physical appt. – After waiting an hour I was brought back only to be told I would still have to wait more and I realized they didn’t have me down for a physical appt but just a regular appt. I said, “I’m not sick and don’t need to see the dr.”. I left. Waste of time.
Made appt for nails and toes that are cracked beyond belief due to lack of attention in weeks.
Made hair cut and color for Wed, today.
No. On Ray’s 30th.
No on leaking condo.
Went on an unscheduled hike with Ray. Checked out, timed and made notes as this is the hike I’m taking the newly formed Mission Hills Country Club Hiking club on Saturday morning. There are 5 of us going. Should be interesting.
Ray and I tried out new hamburger at Grill A Burger. Ummmmm good. Sweet potatoes fries not as good as fries at Living Desert. (Important fact)
Rest of night I never left my computer until I went to bed at 10:30: emails, photoshopped and uploaded new photos of hike to Flickr, worked on hiking club email list.
WednesdayDec 19, 2007
Forecast for 92270 (48° | 65°)
5amhike with Stuart
Daily Schedule, breakfast, blog.
9:30amleave for Dolls of the Valley Meeting
11:45 pmlunch with Sandi
Nails and toes
2pmDennis – hair color and cut
7pmwrite recap of Baby Meeting
If you have 6 minutes and lots of kleenex, treat yourself to this You Tube movie titled
my name is lisa.
At an Xmas party last night, my friend Carol and I were talking about our upcoming online photo class that we’ll be taking and how our instructor Carol Leigh suggests taking a photo a day if you want to see and shoot better photos. So at the party last night I looked for a shoot. My friend Carol pointed out the glass heart on the table. I temporarily found the glass heart a home on top of this red lap.
Why do I like this photo of Ray and my 6 eggs before I srambled them this morning? Because I noticed that the eggs might make a photo of the day shot. That I even thought about shooting the eggs is progress for me!
I got myself out the door. That was the hardest part. The hike I took this morning, into the hills south of Hwy 111 and north of the San Jacinto Range, was just what I needed even though my head toyed with me until 11am telling me it was too cold to go hike. Normally I just go out and exercise. Lately though, I don’t seem to have the will to do it.
Hiking south east above Eagle Canyon.
Photo taken facing north from the same vantage point as previous photo. The city pictured is Cathedral City next to Rancho Mirage.
The top center of this 3rd photo is north.
Here is the question: What time of the day is it?
I had taken 3 photos of Mr. Coyote. This is the first one. I was way excited and didn’t hold the camera very steady. I ran so fast out the back door I almost fell. But oh, what a joy to spot MY new friend.
This entry is my friend JJ’s Blog December 11th entry that I copied and pasted here. I also copied and pasted my comment to his post. JJ’s blog entries often address what he is doing to prepare himself physically for his 2008 PCT thruhike.
I like his blog better than mine. So, I’m using his blog entry here today.
Too Much to Eat
December 11th, 2007 · 1 Comment
Celebrate with food. Who does not do that? I just thought that the preceding question is similar to a child’s saying, “Well, everybody else was doing it.” Hmm. Sixty-four years old and still thinking like a kid. Anyway, yesterday was fun. Mark came over from San Francisco and Maria from Berkeley, and we had a marvelous lunch at Huynh Vietnamese Restaurant. This was after an office party and Elaine’s famous lemon pound cake. And Ed, knowing I did not want to go out last night, brought Persian food his wife had made. People really do celebrate with food. It was a wonderful day for me. My brother and other friends called, including my sister-in-law, Jane.
Very little walking.
Okay, today is the first day of my sixty-fifth year. Seems exciting to me. I am so very glad to be on the planet. Now back to counting calories.
Tags: Joy · Weight Loss
1 response so far ?
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1 gottago // Dec 13, 2007 at 12:12 am
Ray and I will be in swim suits in Turks and Cacos Jan 12 for a week. A couple of weeks ago we made a deal and started dieting to lose weight to look better in front of friends who will also be there. Not for ourselves but for what the friends will think. God bless vanity. The more I diet, the more I want to eat.
Today we celebrated with food twice: First when I bought a huge tub of red vines in Staples. (Who has a slip in Staples?) Then Ray came home with Starbucks Coffee Java Chip because I was feeling sick and he’d had oral surgery yesterday and is limited in what he can eat. So we celebrated that we’d found two plausible excuses for indulging with ice cream – something we rarely eat, but love. Ray remembered from last year when my sister Leila brought home her all time favorite ice cream – Starbucks Coffee Java Chip. He has been in obsession since that time.
I had no choice but to eat the ice cream – you can’t decline a gift from your honey.
And besides, the extra fat makes my wrinkles fill out a little. Phew, sure glad I thought of that rationalization. I feel better now.
Wrong.
What chance do you think we have with our “diet” when our freezer looks like this?
Ray will probably kill me for this post. But that’s ok…He already bought me my birthday and Xmas presents today in Staples. And the red vines were not part of the present!
This is where I initially fantasized I’d take all the MHCC members that just signed up on the hiking sign up sheet below. I am their fearful leader. 
I photographed the sign up list on my way out of the MHCC Fitness Club Committee Meeting tonight. There is another half page of members who signed up to go hiking under this top sheet. That makes about 48 in total. Hmmm. This is going to be interesting. I am the hiking coordinator (before tonight, previously referred to as the hiking leader). I am worried, very worried about my $$$ liability taking these hikers out on the trail. We decided at the committee meeting being a coordinator is not really a leader. Well, that’s fine for those who head up the running club, the walking club, the biking club (which rides in the MHCC complex, not on the streets). But I am taking people out of MHCC, not up to Mt San Jacinto, but out onto the trails where lots of things can happen to young, experienced hikers. Am I crazy?
Paula called first early this morning checking to see if we were still hiking as it had rained all night with strong possibilities of rain today. Then Katie emailed me asking if the hike was still on.
Sure it’s on. I did bring some fleece tops, hats and rain gear for the girls though.
Great morning hike as we all got to know each other a bit more. Paula and Katie thought they were posing for a still photo. Click to see the very tiny photo.
Last night after making our plans to hike today. Katie and Paula